Becoming A Princess: The Princess Diaries

Well, that’s it. I’ve done it. I’ve seen all of Disney’s Princess films, and a lot of them with good strong female characters. I’ve seen weak characters I dislike. And I’ve turned off a few films I just cannot stand.

This week I was supposed to look at The Black Cauldron, but it sucked so badly I turned it off. The film was an amalgamation of a series of children’s high fantasy books reminiscent of Lord of the Rings and Star Wars, but it flopped really hard at the box office. I wanted to watch the film because of Princess Eilonwy, but I just couldn’t stand it. By the time the mis-matched trio of the princess, the farm boy, and the elderly minstrel escaped the Dark Lord’s castle and went searching for an oracular pig with the help of a miniature yeti, I was ready to stab myself in the eye just so i could stop watching it.

Sorry, Disney, but you failed. Bad. Thank goodness a real princess movie came out four years later (The Little Mermaid).

So instead, this week I watched The Princess Diaries because technically it is a Disney film and the protagonist Mia is a princess.

Mia is a regular, unpopular, clumsy intellectual with only two friends, her mother a cat called Fat Louie. She learns from her visiting grandmother that her recently deceased father was the Crown Prince of a small country called Genovia, and that to continue to keep the country in royal hands, Mia must claim her right to the throne and officially become the Crown Princess of Genovia.

Apart from the whole royalty-can-run-a-country-better-than-government, inherited-power-is-better-than-elected-power idea that runs through the film, it’s very enjoyable. It’s Anne Hathaway’s film debut, and Julie Andrews makes for the perfect queenly grandmother. Mia must learn ‘how to be a princess’ – because, you know, it’s SO different to how people are normally. Disney’s princess line up makes girls want to believe that anyone can become a princess. Mia’s movie does deliver that anyone, any young girl, especially from a broken home, can feasibly become a princess – but it’s a lot of hard work. The animated princesses make it look easy. Mia is a shy nobody, hidden behind an unattractive demeanour (well, it’s Anne Hathawy so as unattractive as they can make her while still making her beautiful later in the film) and invisible to or bullied by her classmates.

Because in no world does pretty = invisible.

After a physical makeover and learning a lot of royal ways, such as how to walk, sit, wave, and eat, Mia still has to deal with her normal life of being a nobody-turned-celebrity, dealing with her shallow jerk-face crush suddenly becoming very interested in her, subsequently being overwhelmed and accidentally dumping her friends… and dealing with bullying as well. Which I hate. A lot. And Mia can’t fight back, because she’s a princess.

A princess learning how to do princess stuff.

Because she’s really a normal kid thrust into the spotlight, overwhelmed Mia decides to renounce the throne. Unable to face her decision, she then decides to run away. She only changes her mind when the words of her dead father speak to her through a diary he left her for her sixteenth birthday. She then decides that if she wants to make a difference in the world, she has to become the Princess of Genovia.

SHUT UP!

Mia is a good representation of a strong teenage protagonist in a princess film. Although the most important thing to her at the beginning of the film is somehow becoming the girlfriend of the jerkface crush who is dating the bitchy blonde cheerleader who bullies her, Mia grows and changes in the film, ready to grow up and accept her responsibilities and all the bad stuff that comes along with the good. Her personal growth is symbolised by her desire to experience a very romantic kiss. The kiss with the jerkface isn’t romantic at all, while at her acceptance speech, the kiss with her best friend’s brother who has fancied her all along (before she turned royal) is much more romantic. Mia makes a full circle with her character development: she goes through a physical makeover, an emotional makeover, and even a mental makeover. She is true princess material at the end of the film.

Royal face nomming!

They Googled WHAT?! (2)

On Twitter I regularly tweet the spam I get here on my blog. Sometimes I do a post about some of the weird search terms that have led people here as well. Sometimes I just think to myself, ‘They Google WHAT?!’

Perverted Disney – I wish I was making this crap up

deadly & sexy disney princess
megara breasts
“beauty and the beast” “sexy feather duster”
disney princess having sex
disney nala zombie
gaston’s stinky feet

Feminism – I’m so proud these people came to my blog

girl toughness – yeah, baby! More search terms like this.

Storytelling – Because it’s a writing blog, duh!

who is on the cover of bloodlines by richelle mead – that would be Sydney Sage, the protagonist.

Random – I… just…. I have no words.

pedantic prick – why do people keep coming back to this?!

ass bending – some new Avatar: The Last Airbender power?

afraid to kiss a girl – well, you should know that girls bite.

lord help me be the person my dog thinks i am – I suppose this is supposed to be some kind of inspiration, but really, how the heck did you reach my blog?

Free Tina Storm Urban Fantasy Short Story Exclusive on Smashwords (2)

Hi lovelies.

As promised, the second Tina Storm short story, Take The Stage By Storm (see what I did there? LOL) is available for the rest of October exclusively on Smashwords.

Also, look at this PRETTY PRETTY cover!

Tina Storm 2

This story is 2500 words long and you can enjoy it with a cuppa taking a break. Nice and easy! Make sure you read the first story beforehand, though. Enjoy!

Foreign Cover Friday: At Grave’s End (Night Huntress 3) by Jeaniene Frost

FCFPostTitleBar

Foreign Cover Friday is a weekly meme hosted by The Reading Fever, where foreign covers of the books we know and love are spotlighted and discussed. To join, either pick your favourite foreign cover, or pick many foreign covers, and start discussing!

Continuing on with my Night Huntress theme, this week we’re looking at book 3 in the series, At Grave’s End.

It shouldbe the best time of half-vampire Cat Crawfield’s life. With her undead lover Bones at her side, she’s successfully protected mortals from the rogue undead. But though Cat’s worn disguise after disguise to keep her true identity a secret from the brazen bloodsuckers, her cover’s finally been blown, placing her in terrible danger.

As if that wasn’t enough, a woman from Bones’s past is determined to bury him once and for all. Caught in the crosshairs of a vengeful vamp, yet determined to help Bones stop a lethal magic from being unleashed, Cat’s about to learn the true meaning of bad blood. And the tricks she’s learned as a special agent won’t help her. She will need to fully embrace her vampire instincts in order to save herself—and Bones—from a fate worse than the grave.

At Grave's End (Night Huntress, #3)

This English-language version demonstrates the most awkward pose ever and proves just how flexible Cat it. The red text stands out with good contrast and I LOVE. THOSE. BOOTS. And her coat. It makes me want to become a half-vampire just so I can wear those clothes. The background it awesome – I love winter-looking things – and the white glow around Cat makes her stand out at the focus of the cover. It’s probably one of my favourite covers from the whole series.

At Grave's End \На краю могилы\ (Night Huntress, #3)At Grave's End (Night Huntress, #3)

The Russian cover on the left is nice – with that white text, it gives a real Soviet feel. By that I mean cold and bleak. Ha. Ha ha. I think the cover on the right is a reprint for the UK version.

Russian translation: On The Brink Of The GraveFroid comme une tombe (Chasseuse de la nuit, #3)

Pembalasan Dendam Sang Dewi (At Grave's End)

These are the covers for the French, Indonesian, and Italian versions. The French have done it again. This cover is just gorgeous. It’s just so pretty to see Cat and bones just standing there gazing at each other wearing heavy coats, and that background with what looks like a church steeple is sublime and the colour palette is wonderful and oh man, I gotta stop crushing on this cover. The Indonesian cover fails, which is a pity, because the previous two were really handsome. The model isn’t suitable for Cat, I don’t know what the raven is doing there, and I just don’t like it. The Italian cover is more suitable to a gothic romance and the model lacks Cat’s distinctive red hair, and it’s just kind of bland.

Translation
French:
Cold as a tomb (Huntress of the night, # 3)
Indonesian: Revenge of the Goddess (At Grave’s End)
Italian: The Edge of Night (Night Huntress, # 3)

Gefährtin der Dämmerung: Roman

This German cover is pretty! I love purple! Cat’s make up is weird and her hair is all wrong! But I don’t care because it’s purple! And it delivers its genre quite effectively because of the city in the background (urban fantasy). And it’s PURPLE!

Translation: Companion of the Twilight: A Novel
(and I just want to add that if any Twilight fans started reading these books – better vampires, hot sex – they’d probably faint)

At Grave's End (Night Huntress, #3)

This is the unabridged audiobook. I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s got the oomph factor, but it’s just all explosion-looking (the top left corner) and Cat’s skin looks fake, not luminescent. The text is pretty, but I don’t think I’d even bother to pick it up. It doesn’t appeal to me.

What are your thoughts?

Which covers do you like? Which do you hate?

Check back at The Reading Fever for her Foreign Cover Friday!

Atlantis: The Lost Princess

Atlantis was released in 2001.

There’s a reason Princess Kidagakash from Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Disney’s 41st animated feature film, was never recognised as an official Disney Princess. Her film falls just outside of the Renaissance. Fantasia, Dinosaur, and The Emperor’s New Groove came before it, and all four films performed less than expected at the box office. Kida misses out on being a Disney Princess, despite being a Disney princess, because her film isn’t a musical and didn’t gross enough at the box office (despite bringing in $186M). I have several theories why it didn’t fare as well as Disney hoped, despite mixed critic reviews and becoming a cult favourite: it was Disney’s first sci-fi, it had a beta male lead (not alpha like Aladdin, Tarzan or Hercules), it looks at first glance at a re-hash of Pocahontas (explorers travel to a ‘new world’ and meet a primitive yet harmonious society), kids who attended the Renaissance films were growing up (I was 14 and not interested in ‘kids’ films’ anymore, interestingly enough: I was too busy going to see films like Moulin Rouge!, and A Knight’s Tale,) but most importantly, it was up against a number of very high-grossing films through the year. The top ten highest-grossing films of 2001 in the US were: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone; The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring; Monsters, Inc.; Shrek; Ocean’s Eleven; Pearl Harbour; The Mummy Returns; Jurassic Park III; Planet of the Apes; and Hannibal. Atlantis never even stood a chance.

It's really hard to find good screenshots of Kida.

So, poor Atlantis. Poor Princess Kida. Sure, she’s in the very first part of the film, when Atlantis sinks (a mere 8500 years before the film proper takes place: don’t even get me ranting on that longevity thing). She re-appears sometime later as a ancient yet youthful-looking woman whom, apparently, her father thinks she will magically learn some lesson once he dies and she takes the throne. I mean, she’s eight thousand, five hundred years old, right? What is she going to learn that hasn’t already been learned? And then she spends most of her time in some kind of crystal-induced trance…

I thought I would be nice and give you an animation because it's AWESOME!

Kida gets to spend some time developing a relationship with beta male linguistics professor Milo Thatch (awesomely voiced by Michael J Fox). For some reason, the ability to read their own language was lost when Atlantis sunk, and now Kida is totes dependant on Milo to teach her about her own history, the knowledge of which she sadly, also lacks. So: an advanced civilisation has effectively been rendered primitive and therefore unthreatening. LOL – they can’t even read!

I wouldn't read this, anyway, it's got sparkly vampires.

Ahem.

Kida is curious, intelligent, and strong-willed, but she also has a softened heart and is willing to change the dying ways of her people. She is also depicted as a warrior princess, which I think is totally cool. When she and Milo rediscover the hidden crystal that powers Atlantis and gives the Atlanteans their longevity, and are betrayed by the dick leading the expedition for profit, not scientific discovery, she fights back. A bit. She gets in a good kick before she is overpowered, and then with Milo threatened, she obliges her captors.

Because by now it's established they care for each other, and evil people like to use that emotion against them.

It’s then that the crystal decides to take charge of her or possess her or something, and she’s pretty much rendered as a glorious glowy crystal being but unfortunately also totally helpless and easily kidnapped… because we all know all powerful beings are easily trapped in small boxes. She’s got nothing to do but sit there and look pretty and be in danger and be rescued by the mercenaries and Milo until… a volcano explodes. Then she snaps into actions and saves everyone’s lives.

Pretty glowy princess!

Look, I like Kida, for the most part. I hate the time she spends passive and helpless, but I recognise it’s so that Milo can have a chance at being a hero by rescuing her, thus proving he’s not actually a beta male and is worthy of her love. Yeah, ‘cause that’s how the real world works #sarcasm. Kida can’t save herself from being kidnapped because she needs to be rescued, even though she’s totally kick-ass and powerful, but she can save the city once she’s been rescued from a fate she could totally have saved herself from if the writers weren’t so keen on writing Milo rescuing her. (Does anyone else’s head hurt?)

Mine only hurts a little...

Oh, by the way, did I mention there is a serious lack of face nomming in this film? Disappointing. Here’s a piece of artwork I found especially for my readers who have come to expect face nomming at the end of every Disney post.

Face nomming!