The Innocence Saga Does My Little Pony

I’m participating in this totally cute Custom My Little Pony contest hosted by Rebecca Enzor. The winner will receive their very own custom My Little Pony!

Yeah, I don’t care that I’m 25. I wrote a My Little Pony fanfiction ten years ago and it was one of the first longer-than-short-stories I’d ever actually finished. Looking back, it is still horrifically bad, (it’s tucked away in my ‘Never to see the light of day’ folder) but authors need to get all the bad writing out of their system before they write good stuff. Think of it as training.

Now, because I’m international I can’t actually enter the contest but I have been thinking about Pony-fying some characters from my young adult high fantasy series The Innocence Saga (currently consisting of Dadewalker, Darkwalker, and Book 3 whose title is currently a secret). I’ve chosen not to pony-fy Max from my published novel The Edge of Darkness simply because she’s a cyborg and therefore half machine. Anyway, doing Dadewalker characters is totally fun because there are six different Fae races with their own colouring and cultures!

Check the rule out here. This will be a blog hop and the winner will be announced by voting. Once again I remind you I am not actually entering the contest, but I would still totally love some comments.

Banshee

This is a representation of a banshee. Our heroine, Innocence, is actually a mix of all six races, but because banshees have genetic dominance over all the other races, she looks like a banshee. Banshees are tall, graceful, beautiful snow-white skin-and-haired amazon warriors/sirens, and they are almost always women (boys are extremely rare and only one has ever lived to manhood: Innocence’s father, Maggrig). Their element is ice and they usually reside in the Southern Wastes. They are shunned because they are soul stealers, although some banshees have managed to become ‘civilised’ and live and work in the cities as law enforcers and general security. I gave her a sharp unicorn horn because I believe they would use it in fighting.

Gnome

This is a representation of a gnome, and earth is their element. Gnomes are dark-skinned, dark-haired and live hidden away in the mountains because of their secondary power, alchemy. Hundreds of years ago, when the Tor humans invaded from the north, they tried to take by force the gnome stronghold Nasri Uan, which was made entirely of gold. The gnomes turned their home to stone, sank the land bridge so the humans couldn’t call for reinforcements, and buried themselves deep underground. They are extremely timid and rare creatures and barely ever come aboveground. The last known recorded sighting was Innocence’s great-grandfather.

Nymph

This is a representation of a nymph. Nymphs are tall and completely golden from their hair to their skin, and use plant extracts to decorate their bodies and curly hair. Nymphs have an affinity with life itself and are the healers of the world, with the ability to encourage plant growth. Highly sought after by humans, they are often taken as slave-healers for the Tor war effort. Their souls are linked with a special tree that mirrors their longevity: if the tree dies, so does the nymph. This means that most nymphs live in forests. This nymph here is looking for a flower.

Salamander

This is a representation of a salamander, the super-powered fire-enhanced western desert race. Their skin and hair are red and they are the complete opposite of the banshees society-wise. While banshees value women, salamanders value strength and therefore the only people who can be tribe War Chief are men. There is one exception: a female War Chief whose role is hereditary due to an ancient civil war. As you can see our salamander is shorter and stockier than the other ponies. He has Sokka’s wolf’s tail and Katara’s hair loopies in tribute to Avatar: The Last Airbender. He also has antlers because I believe in pony form the men would fight for dominance much like stags would.

Sylph

This is a representation of a sylph. Sylphs have an affinity for air and can astral project, so I’ve given her wings because in a way, she can fly. This is actually a representation of Innocence’s grandmother, Verity, who is a full-blood sylph. She’s got grey in her hair and I tried to make her look a little older. Sylphs each have a totem, and animal-shaped guide, guardian, and companion because the ancient tradition of a sylph is that they are mortal but soulless. I took it one step further and gave them their own soul, but in a separate body. Innocence has a totem: his name is Tagodan and his favourite form to take is the fox. Sylphs are nomads and therefore roam all over the country.

Undine

This is a representation of an undine, the water-loving clairvoyants. Undines can predict the future using pure undine-channelled water. They are very paled-skinned with blue-black hair. Their society elects their leaders per coven: one male and one female. There are twelve covens, each residing close to an Ivory Tower (actually made of white quartz) on the east coast where the most powerful undines store their prophecies in vials of magical water. In Dadewalker, the human invaders the Alida destroy the two most southern towers, therefore destroying Innocence’s prophecy before she has a chance to view it. This undine representation has a unicorn horn because they can see the future.

So there we have it. Six unique races. Six unique My Little Ponies. What do you think, peeps? Now ladies and gentlefolk, indulge me for just a moment. I’m experimenting with PollDaddy and I’d love to know your opinion. Which pony is your favourite? Please expand upon your answer in the comments below.

Remember to visit Rebecca Enzor’s blog and hop around the other entries!

The Spunkiest Of All: Hercules’ Megara

Disney’s Hercules is a 1997 film bastardising Hercules’ famous trials and adding conflict by changing pretty much everything Hercules ever did and was. Can you tell I’m jaded? For a start, Heracles is his Greek name, and as the other characters in the film are called by their Greek names (Zeus, Hades, Hera, Hephaestus, Hermes etc) he shouldn’t be called by his Roman name Hercules. And he was a bit of a ladies’ man man whore with over 20 recorded wives/mothers of his many, many children, and “uncountable” male lovers. His mother was a mortal, Alcmene, not Hera, although he was named after her (Hera’s glory). In fact, Hera tried to kill Alcmene because she was jealous she was not Hercules’ mother. It was Zeus that turned the mortal Heracles semi-immortal by placing the infant at Hera’s breast and allowing him to drink while she was asleep. That’s kind of like rape, right? And Hercules was only granted godhood when he was poisoned and commit suicide. His wife (at the time), Deianeira, commit suicide after she realised she’d been tricked into poisoning him. But this is all to grim and dark for a Disney movie, right?

Now that I’ve got all of that out of the way, let’s talk about the safe, happy Disney version. Where Hercules is born to Zeus and Hera on Mount Olympus and turned mostly-mortal by his scheming uncle Hade’s sidekicks. Megara (Meg to her friends – if she had any) isn’t introduced until well into the film, where Hercules rushes to her rescue thinking she is at the mercy of a giant centaur river god.

She's also drawn in a highly sexualised way with perky breasts, tiny waist and broad hips that sway seductively ALL THE DAMN TIME.

Well, she is a damsel and she is in distress, but she assures Hercules, or “Wonderboy” as she nicknames him, that she can look after herself. And boy, can she! Meg is one of the wittiest female leads Disney ever produced. Not only that, but they make no secret she’s not a virgin – she did, after all, sell her soul to Hades to save her lover, who then promptly ran off with some hussy *shakes fist*.

She tough, right? She could totally take Hunk-ules. I mean... Hercules.

Now she’s Hades slave, and he’ll take full advantage of her and her womanly wiles. After Hercules rescues her he makes his way to Thebes to become a hero (so he can gain his immortality and go back Mount Olympus – if only it was that easy). This is where Meg steps in. She’s indentured to Hades and must play her part in his little play-act to help destroy Hercules.

I love Hercules' expression. "Men think 'No' means 'Yes' and 'Get lost' means 'Take me, I'm yours.' That still happens today.

Of course, the film is about Hercules, not Meg. So all we see is how much she hates and disrespects her undead master until she’s of use to him again – seducing Hercules to find out what his weakness is. Turns out his weakness is Meg herself, and Hades realises this before anyone else. He uses Meg as leverage to get Hercules to give up his power even though she tries valiantly to stop him. Now that Hercules is powerless Hades can start his plan to rule Mount Olympus by freeing the Titans Zeus buried eons ago. Meg stands by helplessly as Hercules is beaten up by the cyclops.

She doesn't even realise the effect she has on him. She just thinks he's normally tongue-tied, nervous and clumsy.

However, Meg redeems herself. She saves mortal Hercules from being crushed by a falling column and is crushed by it herself. This break Hades’ deal: Hercules made him agree that if Meg got hurt, the deal was off. Hercules flies off to Mount Olympus to save the day while Meg dies. Yeah. Great going, kid. But all is not lost. Hercules is convinced he can save her by retrieving her soul from the Underworld. The price is himself, though: the act of saving Meg will kill him.

That's right: MEG DIES. How many other Disney heroines can claim they went that far for a man? Eh? Snow White was just sleeping!

Unless in the process he proves himself a true hero and therefore becomes immortal. He saves the girl, saves the day, and throws Hades to his ungrateful children (much like Scar and the hyenas in The Lion King or the asylum owner and his girls in Sweeney Todd). Hercules and Meg are taken to Mount Olympus where Hercules is invited to live. But Meg is mortal, and cannot live there. So Hercules decides to give up his immortality and live with Meg on Earth. Awww, how sweet!

Foreign Cover Friday: Bloodlines by Richelle Mead

Foreign Cover Friday is a weekly meme hosted by The Reading Fever, where foreign covers of the books we know and love are spotlighted and discussed. To join, either pick your favourite foreign cover, or pick many foreign covers, and start discussing!

This week I’ve had a look at the books I’ve read recently and settled on Richelle Mead’s Bloodlines, the first in a spin-off series from her totally awesome Vampire Academy. As Bloodlines is fairly new, there aren’t a whole lot of different covers just yet, so I’ll post the ones we’ve got.

Sydney is an alchemist, one of a group of humans who dabble in magic and serve to bridge the worlds of human and vampires. They protect vampire secrets – and human lives. When Sydney is torn from her bed in the middle of the night, at first she thinks she’s still being punished for her complicated alliance with dhampir Rose Hathaway. But what unfolds is far worse. Jill Dragomir – the sister of Moroi Queen Lissa Dragomir – is in mortal danger, and the Moroi must send her into hiding. To avoid a civil war, Sydney is called upon to act as Jill’s guardian and protector, posing as her roommate in the last place anyone would think to look for vampire royalty – a human boarding school in Palm Springs, California. But instead of finding safety at Amberwood Prep, Sydney discovers the drama is only just beginning…

This is the US paperback version, and it’s also the Australian. It’s OK. Sydney’s not terribly pretty but no one ever said she was, and even though we can only see half of Adrian’s face I don’t think he’s that good looking either (for the record, I’m neither Team Adrian nor Team Dimitri: I’m Team Eddie. That dhampir ROCKS!). The focus is on Sydney’s golden lily tattoo, which is mostly obscured by her hair. It’s a well-put-together cover, but it just doesn’t scream ‘Display me!’ to me.

This is supposedly the UK paperback version, but I got the top one, so don’t ask me. I’m glad I got the top one. I don’t like this one. I like the text with the thorns and the white background (a nice change from the normally darker paranormal YA books) but I don’t like the dagger in the heart and the cheesy rose with the purple paper… what exactly is it trying to say? Just no.

This is the Bulgarian version. I guess Bulgaria got their foreign rights sorted before anyone else, because I don’t see different covers for any other country. I like this one. Sydney’s got gorgeous brown eyes, the lily is much more visible, and she’s not hiding anything by looking directly at us. I like how her photo is cut off by the golden vines and the white peeks out underneath. Just about the only thing I don’t like is how her shoulders are naked and it gives the impression the model might be nude off-screen. It’s pretty. It’s not exactly genre-specific, though. But that’s OK, because it’s still a nice cover.

Translation: Blood Ties.

Believe it or not, that’s all we’ve got! I want to get back to reading my major influx of books I received this week. Reviews are going up on Goodreads.

What are your thoughts?

Which covers do you like? Which do you hate?

Check back at The Reading Fever for her Foreign Cover Friday!

Esmeralda, The Heroine of Smouldering Sensuality

The Hunchback of Notre Dame is Disney’s thirty-fourth animated feature film and focuses on the story of Quasimodo, a hunchbacked and deformed bellringer living in the Notre Dame Cathedral. It’s based (dare I say loosely? The endings are completely different – it’s Disney, after all) on the book by Victor Hugo (who also wrote Les Miserables) and although our ‘princess’, Esmeralda, doesn’t end up with the protagonist, she does play an important role in a film that explores racism, bigotism, and mob mentalities.

The book is set in 1482 and I don’t know enough about European or French history to confirm if the film is as well. It certainly has a 15th century feel to it and the irrational hatred of gypsies reminds me of the Christian’s response to the Jews in Venice circa 1600. Esmeralda is a young gypsy dancer, and being utterly gorgeous she helplessly seems to attract the attention of all sorts of men. She’s also fiercely independent, strong-willed, quick-witted with an acid tongue: all good traits to have in a heroine.

Another good skill: medieval pole dancing.

Defiant

When she attracts the attention of Frollo, the paedo ugly evil old judge of Paris (and Quasi’s captor mentor evil bastard surrogate father), she also incurs his wrath by openly defying him and rescuing Quasi in his very first time outside the Cathedral. When Frollo orders her arrest, she not only kicks all their asses and escapes, but takes refuge in the Notre Dame Cathedral, and when Captain Feeble Phoebus enters to arrest her, she kicks his ass. Literally. OK, not literally, but she does defeat him in armed combat, which is pretty awesome for an uneducated, untrained gypsy dancer from the streets. See why I love her?

Bam! Right in the noggin! (BTW I can't believe I found this picture)

Trapped

To save her life, Captain Feeble says that she claimed sanctuary, which inside the church protects gypsies from evil bastards. That’s where Quasi’s mother was trying to go at the beginning of the film when Frollo stopped her. Also, inside the cathedral is the only place the Archdeacon has authority over Frollo, and he basically tells Frollo to fuck off and leave Esmeralda alone. Frollo posts guards at all the exits, trapping her inside the Cathedral. Esmeralda thinks she’s going to catch claustrophobia so she sings a song to God. Then she discovers this is where Quasimodo lives and they bond.

Did I mention she has a kick-ass goat as her animal pal?

Escape

Quasimodo helps Esmeralda escape the Cathedral. Frollo starts experiencing ‘man reactions’ to thoughts about her and sings a song about how she’s a witch seducing him, you know, with her sexy dancing and her pretty eyes, and her absolute hatred of him. Convinced his ‘man reactions’ are unnatural he decides to burn down the city looking for her. Yeah, it makes sense, I know. Esmeralda runs across Captain Feeble being heroic and heroically injured, and saves his life, taking him back to Quasimodo because, you know, she can’t take her new boyfriend to the Court of Miracles because he’s… what… blonde? But she trusts the hunchback enough to tell him how to find the Court… which is exactly what they do when Frollo announces he is attacking it at dawn.

Captured

Because Quasi and Captain Feeble can’t tell when they’re being manipulated, they inadvertently lead Frollo’s guard to the Court of Miracles where Esmeralda is captured. Frollo offers to make her his mistress, and when she politely refuses by spitting in his face (great aim!) he burns her at the stake. Well, Quasi doesn’t like that (because he’s fallen in love with her) so he rescues her and climbs the Notre Dame Cathedral a la King Kong with his beauty in his arms. Frollo lays siege to the Cathedral while Captain Feeble, the gypsies, and the civilians who have realised Frollo is an asshole try to defend her. After a tussle high above the crowd, Quasi saves Esmeralda, Esmeralda tries to save Quasi, Frollo falls to his death which is entirely his own fault, and then Feeble finally shows some kind of use besides being Esmeralda’s love interest and saves Quasi’s life. Esmeralda and Captain Feeble receive Quasimodo’s blessing, which is really sweet of him because he’s totally in love with her as well.

It makes me wonder. The Disney heroines always end up with the good-looking blokes. Even when Belle fell in love with the Beast, he turned back into the human Prince; when Tiana fell in love with Naveen the frog, he turned back into the Prince; and Jasmine chose handsome Aladdin even though he wasn’t a prince. So my question is: could Esmeralda have ended up with Quasimodo? I certainly expected it when I was a child. I was conditioned to believe the hero of the piece could get any girl he wanted, even if she was beyond his means (sweet Belle, royal Jasmine, hard-working Tiana). Disney dramatically changed the ending: how hard would it have been to write in a Quasi-Esmeralda romance?

I carved a teeny tiny doll of you. Sometimes I make her do stuff. That's totally less creepy than breaking into your house and watching you sleep, right?

No, I won’t show the Esmeralda-Captain Feeble kiss, because I am protesting their relationship. I like to pretend she dumps him and goes running back to Quasi to send the audience a message of, “It doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s what inside that counts.” i.e. “It doesn’t matter if you’re born horrifically deformed and have no self-esteem, even the most beautiful and lusted after girl in Paris can still fall in love with you.”

No? You still want the picture? Fine.

They Googled WHAT?!

On Twitter I regularly tweet the spam I get here on my blog. I’ve decided to do a post about some of the weird search terms that have led people here as well. Sometimes I just think to myself, ‘They Google WHAT?!’

Perverted Disney – I wish I was making this crap up

snow white necrofilia
f word in little mermaid cover
princess fucking with seven dwarfs
disney princess gone bad
beast fucking beauty fantasy
trashy disney princesses

Feminism – I’m so proud these people came to my blog

dude in distress in tv series – When you figure out what it is, let me know!

woman rescues man – This is my sort of thing!

Storytelling – Because it’s a writing blog, duh!

a story where a character writes something – Can’t help you there, mate.

princess diaries queen clarisse fanfiction – Oh my gosh, I should totally take part in this!

Random – I… just…. I have no words.

sims parents on fire/sims on fire – Dude. Sadistic much? Set fire to your own Sims, don’t go looking for someone else’s pictures.

happy unicorn farts – I hope you found what you were looking for.

throwing babies – GET OUT OF MY BLOG. OUT. NOW.

i feel like am fighting a losing battle – Me too mate, me too.